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 If the movies have taught us nothing else—and plainly, they
haven't―then they've at least shown us that astronauts and evil
supercomputers are similarly cursed with a stunning lack of
imagination. Just as Skynet can't seem to come up with a better plan
than to repeatedly send a Terminator back in time to eliminate John
Connor before he gets fat, starts wearing a checkered shirt and marries
Roseanne, so, with all the planets in an infinite Universe to choose
from, NASA's best and brightest only seem capable of crash-landing on
the Planet of the Apes (which turns out to be Earth all along, by the
way). Chuck Heston began this trend in 1968, demonstrating his right to
bear arms as effectively as his right to bare chest. So, if you've ever felt the need to rail against unnamed maniacs who blow “it” up, this is your big chance to do it alongside the guy who played Jason Colby. Also Moses.
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